True love is non possessive. Possessive love arises from your own insecurity about will I be loved tomorrow? (This insecurity supposedly blocks the heart chakra as they say but I cannot explain more as I am not too knowledgeable about chakras). Possessive love is a lower level of love and the insecurity actually makes one selfish and in this type of love you are worried about how you can get more so that the insecurity will go away. Possessive love demands attention and tangible receipt at all times and there can be no end – its like an abyss and the more you get, the more possessive you become and the more the fear of losing the object of love. And if you are wearing a mask then it becomes a great stress factor to constantly keep on that mask or else…..
In this situation, all you are capable of is extracting or getting what you need to satisfy yourself to conquer that fear which is a temporary fix. The fear comes back in a bigger way and you want more as your needs keep getting bigger. Soon, you are in a situation where the relationship is only about ME ME and MORE of ME. Never about YOU or US. ME and what I can get and my needs and are no longer capable of giving, but only taking. The relationship moves on to a lower level. Selfish. The security which you want by trying to possess the other person leads to failure of the relationship.
Possessiveness leads to the fear of losing. The two are twins and come as a package deal. The more you fear losing something, the more you will want to possess and the more you want to possess something, the more the fear of losing it becomes.
So best is to let go…..and the fear of losing that love will go with it. You cannot lose something that you do not possess. Difficult to conceptualize and even more difficult to put in practice. But the benefits far outweigh the effort. So let go and the fear will disappear too. Without the fear you will find it easier to throw those masks away and move closer to being accepted unconditionally and this itself will lead to a reciprocal response from the other side and will allow your partner to breathe easy by throwing away those masks You will be able to truly discover your partner and fall in love with a person that exists for real.
Remember that old cliché – “If you love someone let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever, if not then it was never yours to begin with”. Its very true. Take the step. Possessiveness (and the related fear of losing the object of love) is all in the mind anyway. Let go and free yourself. And wait for the love to return – in a bigger brighter more beautiful way (it’s like giving up your BW TV for an LCD one with surround sound plus plus but you need to have trust). The sooner you reach this higher love the more it can do for you.
In this situation, all you are capable of is extracting or getting what you need to satisfy yourself to conquer that fear which is a temporary fix. The fear comes back in a bigger way and you want more as your needs keep getting bigger. Soon, you are in a situation where the relationship is only about ME ME and MORE of ME. Never about YOU or US. ME and what I can get and my needs and are no longer capable of giving, but only taking. The relationship moves on to a lower level. Selfish. The security which you want by trying to possess the other person leads to failure of the relationship.
Possessiveness leads to the fear of losing. The two are twins and come as a package deal. The more you fear losing something, the more you will want to possess and the more you want to possess something, the more the fear of losing it becomes.
So best is to let go…..and the fear of losing that love will go with it. You cannot lose something that you do not possess. Difficult to conceptualize and even more difficult to put in practice. But the benefits far outweigh the effort. So let go and the fear will disappear too. Without the fear you will find it easier to throw those masks away and move closer to being accepted unconditionally and this itself will lead to a reciprocal response from the other side and will allow your partner to breathe easy by throwing away those masks You will be able to truly discover your partner and fall in love with a person that exists for real.
Remember that old cliché – “If you love someone let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever, if not then it was never yours to begin with”. Its very true. Take the step. Possessiveness (and the related fear of losing the object of love) is all in the mind anyway. Let go and free yourself. And wait for the love to return – in a bigger brighter more beautiful way (it’s like giving up your BW TV for an LCD one with surround sound plus plus but you need to have trust). The sooner you reach this higher love the more it can do for you.
3 comments:
I love this concept, I have recently come to better understand it. I enjoyed your comments. If you have any readings that inspired this please post them.
Well lots of readings but mostly ine and others' experiences and myreflections upon them.
I like this. it is spot on
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