God, the conversations me and my wife get into !!!! Maybe I should a write a book " Conversations with my wife" if I live long enough.
Ok, this conversation actually happened between me and my beloved wife. I admit that in the past, in order to make my writings funny and humorous I have invented situations and certain dialogues but not this time. This discussion actually happened (I swear by my wife) and I have obtained her permission to put this on my blog. Initially she didn’t agree – How can you put this discussion we just had on the blog? But then she was also quick (she is very sharp by the way) to realize that since no one reads my blog (and she is confident about this – refer an earlier post a month ago) it doesn’t matter.
So, I am the boss of my house and I have my wife’s permission to say so… oops…I mean I am the writer of this blog and I have my wife’s permission to write this piece. Stay tuned, this is a shocker !!!
It is very common in most homes (and my home is no exception) that some K factor (I mean Ekta Kapoor) serials run full time. Most of these - serials – you must have noticed have an extra marital affair going on between someone or the other. So I just casually asked my wife if she thought that are these things so common that the more the illegal affairs shown, the more popular the serial is?
She said that she had never noticed this coincidence but accepted my view (only the 6th time in 12 years since I have known her) that yes far too many people were falling in love with each other outside marriage and that society in general was more tolerant and understanding now. Surely people do these things because they have a reason? She reasoned.
Point of logic to note here I said, – what choice these married people have – if you can’t (or won’t) fall in love within yr marriage then you have to fall in love outside marriage, isn’t it? He he he…I gave her a smile which was met with one of her “there you go talking utter rubbish” again looks. My son called me from the other room to come and play Ludo.
At this stage I should have been better off leaving the room and playing Ludo with my son but decided to take my wife on. Despite all my wisdom pushing me out of the room, I asked a very difficult question. So, you mean to say that if someone you knew was having an affair you would try to understand him and his reasons for doing so?
What do you mean, be specific, she orderd. Who someone?
“Go and play Ludo with your son” boomed a voice inside my brain – must have been my blessed soul. “You are better off being a good father than an argument losing husband” But I ignored it again and continued to lock horns with my wife. Only, my horns were made of paper !!
Well, I meant that lets say hypothetically…..hypothetically (I repeated the word so that I was absolutely clear to her) …
Hypothetically what !! she was impatient now.
Hypothetically if I got involved with another …er…woman (words were coming out with great difficulty because my wife was staring down at me), then what?
What do you mean, “Then What”?, her look was bordering on anger. Something told me she would rather focus on the affair (extra marital of course) going on in the serial than in any hypothetical scenario that I may be involved in.
Then what will you do? I asked courageously and prepared to duck at the same time. No missiles were thrown.
Nothing. She simply put.
Nothing? I asked unbelievably.
Yes Nothing. Because it can only be hypothetical. It can never happen.
She had done it again. I was stunned speechless. Only this time I was moved. Never felt so moved since India beat West Indies in the cricket World Cup in 1983. To think my wife had such childlike faith in my monogamous love for her was unthinkable.
Weak-kneed, I went and sat down next to her. Honey, how can you be so sure? I mean how are you so sure about me not falling to any temptation ever?
At this moment I got this vision of sitting on a very colorful huge hot air balloon floating amongst the clouds. With a big white halo over (or is it behind?) my head in a white robe…get the picture ?, right. To be worthy of such faith…I had to be an angel. Never felt so sublime in my life.
There is an English saying “From the sublime to the ridiculous is but one step”. Well it took a second, actually. Read on.
“I know this cannot happen for the simple reason that it takes two to have an affair and even if you were willing, you would still require a female counterpart to have an affair and that does not exist”, my wife explained.
“POP” was the loud sound I heard in my head followed by my soul’s laughter as if a balloon had been burst. Should have played Ludo ,I told you, my soul stated with perfect hindsight.
What do you mean, does not exist? Who does not exist? I asked being at the midpoint of my fall from the sublime to the ridiculous and staring down in horror.
This other woman with whom you can have an affair.
But why??? I was about to touch the ridiculous ground here at this stage.
Because any one who comes close to you and understands you will decide against having an affair with you. Simple. So that’s why I know this situation will never happen.
THUD. I was on ground ridiculous now. The paper horns fell on my face a minute later. Lying face upwards and spreadeagled, I summed up the situation. “So you have more faith in this non existent female (as of now) who will agree with your view about my uselessness and decide against having an affair with me THAN in my loyalty to you”?
Absolutely yes, she declared dismissively. The serial was over. The matter having been decided, I went to play Ludo with my son. Poor thing was playing Ludo all by himself and bored. His face lit up on seeing me (he must be my soulmate) and exclaimed - "Dad, what took you so long?". Well, I went bungee jumping, I said with a "my wife has done it again" look on my face. Should have trusted my soul.
Never felt so grief stricken since Bangladesh beat India in the cricket World Cup 2007.
Anyway, I have decided not to take this lying down this time (no pun intended). Any compassionate female reading this (and in tears for me and my situation) wanting to prove my wife wrong please feel free to contact me. And one at a time please !!
Ok, this conversation actually happened between me and my beloved wife. I admit that in the past, in order to make my writings funny and humorous I have invented situations and certain dialogues but not this time. This discussion actually happened (I swear by my wife) and I have obtained her permission to put this on my blog. Initially she didn’t agree – How can you put this discussion we just had on the blog? But then she was also quick (she is very sharp by the way) to realize that since no one reads my blog (and she is confident about this – refer an earlier post a month ago) it doesn’t matter.
So, I am the boss of my house and I have my wife’s permission to say so… oops…I mean I am the writer of this blog and I have my wife’s permission to write this piece. Stay tuned, this is a shocker !!!
It is very common in most homes (and my home is no exception) that some K factor (I mean Ekta Kapoor) serials run full time. Most of these - serials – you must have noticed have an extra marital affair going on between someone or the other. So I just casually asked my wife if she thought that are these things so common that the more the illegal affairs shown, the more popular the serial is?
She said that she had never noticed this coincidence but accepted my view (only the 6th time in 12 years since I have known her) that yes far too many people were falling in love with each other outside marriage and that society in general was more tolerant and understanding now. Surely people do these things because they have a reason? She reasoned.
Point of logic to note here I said, – what choice these married people have – if you can’t (or won’t) fall in love within yr marriage then you have to fall in love outside marriage, isn’t it? He he he…I gave her a smile which was met with one of her “there you go talking utter rubbish” again looks. My son called me from the other room to come and play Ludo.
At this stage I should have been better off leaving the room and playing Ludo with my son but decided to take my wife on. Despite all my wisdom pushing me out of the room, I asked a very difficult question. So, you mean to say that if someone you knew was having an affair you would try to understand him and his reasons for doing so?
What do you mean, be specific, she orderd. Who someone?
“Go and play Ludo with your son” boomed a voice inside my brain – must have been my blessed soul. “You are better off being a good father than an argument losing husband” But I ignored it again and continued to lock horns with my wife. Only, my horns were made of paper !!
Well, I meant that lets say hypothetically…..hypothetically (I repeated the word so that I was absolutely clear to her) …
Hypothetically what !! she was impatient now.
Hypothetically if I got involved with another …er…woman (words were coming out with great difficulty because my wife was staring down at me), then what?
What do you mean, “Then What”?, her look was bordering on anger. Something told me she would rather focus on the affair (extra marital of course) going on in the serial than in any hypothetical scenario that I may be involved in.
Then what will you do? I asked courageously and prepared to duck at the same time. No missiles were thrown.
Nothing. She simply put.
Nothing? I asked unbelievably.
Yes Nothing. Because it can only be hypothetical. It can never happen.
She had done it again. I was stunned speechless. Only this time I was moved. Never felt so moved since India beat West Indies in the cricket World Cup in 1983. To think my wife had such childlike faith in my monogamous love for her was unthinkable.
Weak-kneed, I went and sat down next to her. Honey, how can you be so sure? I mean how are you so sure about me not falling to any temptation ever?
At this moment I got this vision of sitting on a very colorful huge hot air balloon floating amongst the clouds. With a big white halo over (or is it behind?) my head in a white robe…get the picture ?, right. To be worthy of such faith…I had to be an angel. Never felt so sublime in my life.
There is an English saying “From the sublime to the ridiculous is but one step”. Well it took a second, actually. Read on.
“I know this cannot happen for the simple reason that it takes two to have an affair and even if you were willing, you would still require a female counterpart to have an affair and that does not exist”, my wife explained.
“POP” was the loud sound I heard in my head followed by my soul’s laughter as if a balloon had been burst. Should have played Ludo ,I told you, my soul stated with perfect hindsight.
What do you mean, does not exist? Who does not exist? I asked being at the midpoint of my fall from the sublime to the ridiculous and staring down in horror.
This other woman with whom you can have an affair.
But why??? I was about to touch the ridiculous ground here at this stage.
Because any one who comes close to you and understands you will decide against having an affair with you. Simple. So that’s why I know this situation will never happen.
THUD. I was on ground ridiculous now. The paper horns fell on my face a minute later. Lying face upwards and spreadeagled, I summed up the situation. “So you have more faith in this non existent female (as of now) who will agree with your view about my uselessness and decide against having an affair with me THAN in my loyalty to you”?
Absolutely yes, she declared dismissively. The serial was over. The matter having been decided, I went to play Ludo with my son. Poor thing was playing Ludo all by himself and bored. His face lit up on seeing me (he must be my soulmate) and exclaimed - "Dad, what took you so long?". Well, I went bungee jumping, I said with a "my wife has done it again" look on my face. Should have trusted my soul.
Never felt so grief stricken since Bangladesh beat India in the cricket World Cup 2007.
Anyway, I have decided not to take this lying down this time (no pun intended). Any compassionate female reading this (and in tears for me and my situation) wanting to prove my wife wrong please feel free to contact me. And one at a time please !!
3 comments:
Ha Ha ha, very funny. Like your descriptive dialogue style of writing and you love of cricket... unmissable. Keep writing!
Mann, rolling in laughter :)))) And quite good writing too...impressed, I've 'reader'ed you :D
Hehehe! wonderful read... looking forward to your future posts in the karma and reincarnation series...
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