Saturday, August 2, 2008

Unconditional Love - Continued....AGAIN !!!!

Back again. This is like the Friday the 13th series or the Star Wars saga. Even after the last part a fresh series starts. Some feedback and interesting discussions with a few colleagues. Unconditional love is a blessing but is not given, but has to be earned. You must prepare yourself to be able to reach a state of unconditional love in any relationship, it is not an automatic. How do you become ready you ask? Well you will have to learn to love deeper than you ever thought possible and that usually means meeting, loving and losing near unconditional love. Are you brave and strong enough to be able to risk loving with your heart and soul just to have the dream shattered? If not then seeking unconditional love is not for you for you must deepen your capacity to love before you can know unconditional love and that means experiencing pain as well as joy. The more pain you have experienced the more joy you are capable of holding within. Sometimes the cup of love must be completely shattered before it can be built strong enough to hold the unconditional love we are all capable of but scared of the pain. No pain, no gain. Steel is tempered through flame and your heart must be tempered through pain before it is strong enough to reach of state of receiving and giving unconditional love.


Unconditional love has to be learnt through experiences of conditional love. Only when you know what jealously is and be in a jealous relationship can you really “give up” not being jealous. Let me use an analogy to explain why you must know the conditional aspect first before realizing the unconditional aspect. Its like if you do not know “fear”, you cannot really call yourself “brave”. Lets say there is a bomb under the chair. And you have to sit on the chair. There is no bravery in sitting on a chair with a bomb under it if you are not aware of the bomb because the fear of the bomb is not there. But what if you knew about the bomb and yet go and sit on that chair ? (some will call it stupidity..but hey this is just a learning example….AND don’t use that word “stupid”…this is such intellectual stuff !!!) That is a brave act. So in order to be brave you need to know what “fear” is and conquer that fear. Courage lies in overcoming your fear. Similarly, in order to conquer the negative emotion of “jealousy” you need to experience and be jealous first and then make that effort to raise your love beyond jealousy. Yes, falling in love is so easy but rising in love so difficult. Similarly all other elements have to be conquered as well. You need to experience both from a giver and receiver’s angle and then progress slowly but surely towards unconditional love. Experiencing conditional love is necessary and is like a training for the ultimate relationship which we all want in our lives but are not prepared to go through the pain of conquering the elements of conditional love first.


Most of us will spend a major portion of our life in a conditional love relationship but it is necessary to go through the time with full heart and at times with full hurt. Yes it seems unnatural for we all seek that perfect blissful relationship. Therefore we have to go through a time period of experiencing selfish conditional love with full heart. Like reaching out for the thorns with full faith that they will not hurt but be hurt. Then you know you are ready for unconditional love. Just reach out again with blind faith this time. Instead of thorns there will be a beautiful rose in your hands. God’s reward for enduring the pain.

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