10 reasons why I don’t want my son (he is 7 now) to grow up:
1. Will stop laughing at stupid things
When me and Paras are around stupid things happen. He always finds a reason to laugh at them. As he matures, he will not find several such situations worth laughing at.
2. Will stop believing in my incredible stories
I am not an author and do not write stories. However, I do read a lot and always thought myself of as a widely read reader until I bumped into my son’s constant demands of “tell me a new story”. Now I do have an imagination and tell him really funny and silly nonsensical stories which he not only laughs but believes in. As he grows up, he will realize that no one can tear a car’s tyre with his teeth, or eat the veiling fan for breakfast. The funny look and the no hold back laughter make the whole thing very enjoyable.
3. He will resist my coming to school
He (like all children) wants to be dropped to and picked up from school by me every day. While I drop him everyday, he comes back home by bus. When he asks me to come and pick him up, and if I can, I refuse, only to turn up at the school entrance. The gleam in his eyes (it’s a naughty look) when he sees me and starts running (this is similar to a bull running towards a bull fighter) is worth the effort. As he grows up, he would like to imagine he is big enough for Daddy to come and instead be busy with his friends.
4. Will lose his childlike faith in Superheroes
He thinks Spiderman is real and has super powers, is always victorious and can do anything. Soon he will realize these things are really not real and start believing us when we explain that. Everytime a child grows up, a superhero dies somewhere, but then more children keep coming to keep the superhero legends alive.
5. Would gradually know that I do not know everything
I actually want this to happen, maybe. This way he will stop asking me everything and would accept my word when I tell him that I don’t know how many cities are there in this world. Right now, he believes I know everything, one day he will come to know the truth and another superhero (me) will die.
6. Not come and sit on my lap as if he owns the place
He does this so often and enjoys doing this. One day he will decide he is big enough and stop this and all the fun will end.
7. We will stop being important
In the initial years of a child, parents occupy a significant space and everything new a child learns is transmitted back to the parent. A child’s experience is incomplete unless he shares it with his parents. As children grow, parents occupy less space progressively and with a boy its even more. Right now, my son is full of tricks and gives us so many happy moments by telling us his experiences. Some of these are so funny that you can laugh years later and never forget.
8. Will stop asking stupid questions
The problem with grown up and mature people (well most of them) is that they do not ask stupid questions like who is the monitor of your office? My son did and the next question was when, I will become a monitor. In his class everyone becomes a monitor by rotation so he assumes the process is the same at work. The child like understanding assumes that all systems work the way schools do and the analogy with a place of work can be really funny. Imagine everyone changing positions by rotation, that would be a real 360 degrees process.
9. Certain jobs will be less glamorous
So what do you want to be when you grow up, someone asked him once? Baker was his prompt reply, because I want to bake bread. By the way, he enjoys eating bread. Other favorites have been (he keeps changing) postman, police, farmer, builder etc. Oddly enough, he has never said accountant – maybe he already realizes what a waste of life his father’s has been . As he grows up, he will stop answering from his heart, and use his mind. That’s when his answers will stop being delightful.
10. Inherited bond to friendship bond
This one is the toughest and the biggest parenting challenge. The child parent bond is inherited. i.e, neither the parents nor the child chose each other in particular. It is simply inherited and the bond that develops is an inherited bond. As the child’s space grows and more people come into his life, the bond may weaken and needs to be replaced or complimented with a friendship bond. Transactionally speaking, It is not easy to to transform the adult child relationship into an adult-adult relationship of almost equals with your own child. But this is what every successful parent has to achieve and justify the inherited bond. I don’t know why I put this here as no. 10 but this one is not something I am avoiding but working on.
1. Will stop laughing at stupid things
When me and Paras are around stupid things happen. He always finds a reason to laugh at them. As he matures, he will not find several such situations worth laughing at.
2. Will stop believing in my incredible stories
I am not an author and do not write stories. However, I do read a lot and always thought myself of as a widely read reader until I bumped into my son’s constant demands of “tell me a new story”. Now I do have an imagination and tell him really funny and silly nonsensical stories which he not only laughs but believes in. As he grows up, he will realize that no one can tear a car’s tyre with his teeth, or eat the veiling fan for breakfast. The funny look and the no hold back laughter make the whole thing very enjoyable.
3. He will resist my coming to school
He (like all children) wants to be dropped to and picked up from school by me every day. While I drop him everyday, he comes back home by bus. When he asks me to come and pick him up, and if I can, I refuse, only to turn up at the school entrance. The gleam in his eyes (it’s a naughty look) when he sees me and starts running (this is similar to a bull running towards a bull fighter) is worth the effort. As he grows up, he would like to imagine he is big enough for Daddy to come and instead be busy with his friends.
4. Will lose his childlike faith in Superheroes
He thinks Spiderman is real and has super powers, is always victorious and can do anything. Soon he will realize these things are really not real and start believing us when we explain that. Everytime a child grows up, a superhero dies somewhere, but then more children keep coming to keep the superhero legends alive.
5. Would gradually know that I do not know everything
I actually want this to happen, maybe. This way he will stop asking me everything and would accept my word when I tell him that I don’t know how many cities are there in this world. Right now, he believes I know everything, one day he will come to know the truth and another superhero (me) will die.
6. Not come and sit on my lap as if he owns the place
He does this so often and enjoys doing this. One day he will decide he is big enough and stop this and all the fun will end.
7. We will stop being important
In the initial years of a child, parents occupy a significant space and everything new a child learns is transmitted back to the parent. A child’s experience is incomplete unless he shares it with his parents. As children grow, parents occupy less space progressively and with a boy its even more. Right now, my son is full of tricks and gives us so many happy moments by telling us his experiences. Some of these are so funny that you can laugh years later and never forget.
8. Will stop asking stupid questions
The problem with grown up and mature people (well most of them) is that they do not ask stupid questions like who is the monitor of your office? My son did and the next question was when, I will become a monitor. In his class everyone becomes a monitor by rotation so he assumes the process is the same at work. The child like understanding assumes that all systems work the way schools do and the analogy with a place of work can be really funny. Imagine everyone changing positions by rotation, that would be a real 360 degrees process.
9. Certain jobs will be less glamorous
So what do you want to be when you grow up, someone asked him once? Baker was his prompt reply, because I want to bake bread. By the way, he enjoys eating bread. Other favorites have been (he keeps changing) postman, police, farmer, builder etc. Oddly enough, he has never said accountant – maybe he already realizes what a waste of life his father’s has been . As he grows up, he will stop answering from his heart, and use his mind. That’s when his answers will stop being delightful.
10. Inherited bond to friendship bond
This one is the toughest and the biggest parenting challenge. The child parent bond is inherited. i.e, neither the parents nor the child chose each other in particular. It is simply inherited and the bond that develops is an inherited bond. As the child’s space grows and more people come into his life, the bond may weaken and needs to be replaced or complimented with a friendship bond. Transactionally speaking, It is not easy to to transform the adult child relationship into an adult-adult relationship of almost equals with your own child. But this is what every successful parent has to achieve and justify the inherited bond. I don’t know why I put this here as no. 10 but this one is not something I am avoiding but working on.
1 comment:
dear phupha
it was nice & please write more for kids like me.
pranjal
Post a Comment